Nervous Jetta Breakdown

And so this is how it goes.

I actually had a good nights sleep. How did that happen? I guess I must have been exhausted. Willi isn’t feeling well. I left him alone for too long yesterday. He hasn’t eaten a single thing since Sunday night. Perhaps the stress of being left alone for eight hours. Poor guy.

The Jetta has something wrong with it. Oh what fun. The engine light came on solid and then the engine fired on only three cylinders. Not a good sign. So I read through the car manual to find out what the light means. “Take car in for immediate service when engine light comes on.” So, yesterday morning I drove to the dealership on three cylinders.

“How can I help you today sir.” Says the man behind the service counter.

“There’s something really wrong with my Jetta. The engine light has come on and it’s firing on only three cylinders.”

“Well, we will try to look at it today, but we have to take care of the cars that have appointments first.”

How silly of me, I should have scheduled my car breaking down a week in advance, then I could have made a smart, chic little appointment for it, with little frilly, sparkly things to spruce the whole thing up.

“Anything else you would like to have us looked at today?”

In my head I hear a voice: How about the fact that you are sullen and resistant and I am getting strange vibes from you because you are battle fatigued from dealing with all these unreasonable people commonly known to you as the customer. Customers have a way of becoming overly unhappy and demanding when their brand new thirty-something thousand dollar car is behaving itself badly. I am looking for the service department. If I wanted the lip service department I would go to any government office and stand in line for an hour with a bunch of overheated, nose-running, tubercular-coughing, parka-wearing, smelly people.

“Well, you could look at the CD player since it now only skips when it’s playing.”

“Anything else?”

Anything else. Did he say anything else? I’m sure he said, “Anything else?”

Ok… lets try this again.

“Well, there is that rattle in the driver’s side window. You guys can’t fix it. I’ve been here five times in the last year. Your people can’t seem to handle it. It sounds like the window is loose, but your guys can’t fix it.”

My blood pressure is beginning to spike. There is a part of me that is starting to feel unhinged. I want to bury my head in a pillow and scream, but which pillow? I want to throw things, but which things?

“We'll have a look at it again sir.”

How interesting…again then…looking at it again.

This is the sixth again.

How about fixing it once and for all? I am losing confidence here, not to mention a part of my mind. I have to let you know that it’s pretty much a done deal that I will never buy one of these shitass-fuckedup Volkswagen contraptions again. But you should really do something about this rattle because it is driving me out of my friggen tree. If you fix one goddamned thing…fix the rattle. I can deal with the three cylinder thing myself…but God have mercy on us all and fix the mindfucking, Chinese water torturing rattle!

Thank you.

And it all started out so pleasantly about the dog. You just never know which ditch I will skid into.

And so a new day begins…