I wake up. There is a scratchy feeling at the back of my throat. I head for the kitchen and make a pot of Sumatra decaf. I go into the basement and fold the whites and stick a load of dirty colors into the machine. I randomly and haphazardly feel sorry for myself while I am folding.
Back upstairs I pour myself some decaf and sit down at the dining room table and write my flotation device…three morning pages. This morning I jump recklessly from one thought to the next as if strung from a bungy jumping cord. Boing! Boing!
No singing this morning…not a good sign. Intermittently I find myself muttering something unintelligible…”you idiot something or another”. In no time at all and with no apparent effort on my part, I have become the quintessential grumpy old man. Just shoot me.
If you are under forty and reading this…then likely none of the above makes any sense to you. Fine. If you are forty or in the neighbourhood…remember that stupid saying…Life begins a forty? Well, what I want to know is, if life begins at forty, why am I not excited…I should be thrilled right? In fact soon I will be forty-two…I should be ecstatic by now. Hot diggity dog!
And so a new day begins...asymmetrically and daggling from a bungy.
I can't believe you posted this picture on your website. Where the hell did you get that from?
It is strangely funny though.
I like the bungy! Whoooo Hooooo. Well, i'm under 40 and yet i still find some of what you're saying makes sense. But, i must admit there are some aspects of what you're going through that i don't get because i think it's one of those things that you can understand but not fully feel until you get there. But bungies are hype! And as for life begining at 40? Please...i've heard people say 30, 45...nobody can get it right and you know why?? Because i don't think you can pin an age on it. I think once you've lived enough of your life to have figured certain things out and to have realized what's really important, and discovered what makes you really happy then your life begins. I guess most people realize all these things once they're feeling more established and experienced, when they're in their mid-30's to mid 40's. But i have friends in their early 30's who feel wonderful! They are happy with their lives. Now they're just cruising 'til the end. I don't know much about all this stuff, i haven't lived enough and i'm not just talking about age. I think there are things i still need to experience before i get it all. But for now all i can really say is
LIGHTEN UP! It's the holidays! What is it that they say?....."Eat, Drink and be Merry!"
Whoooo Hoooo - Bungy!
Mark.....please try something other than Sumatra Decaf.....I think that has a great deal to do with it!!!!!
Jeff dear,
Ummmm....no.
I'm afraid...no.
Once again...I don't aaaaah...no.
LOL
smack!
hi mark :)
hmmm ... well, i'm 44, so i guess i qualify ;) actually, so much of what you say here evokes a lot of thought and pondering inside this tired mind of mine. i'm sure you'll find as many varying opinions on the subject of "when life begins" as you will personalitites; which is the way it should be, since we all must find that road strictly ours which leads to the realm of "knowing". For me, it was when I was finally able to face down my demons without turning away, or flat-out high-tailing it to the nearest denial exit. When I was able to see the whole of me and embrace it all, good and bad alike, life opened itself up to me. I may never get everything I want, or go everywhere I'd like to, or even succeed at everything I attempt .... but I'll appreciate who I am the whole time I'm not. ;)
Here's to clear vision *clink*
heh... i had to leave a comment about my earliest understanding of what '40' was... i was 4 years old when my father turned 40. and i remember hearing that he was going to be 'over the hill'... and what i wanted to know was - what hill?